Often, when I am walking down the street or sitting on the lite rail, narratives run through my head of events that occur or little thoughts that I could write in my blog. But, I am so far from my computer and too lazy (often) to write them down. So...brain synapses happen, but nothing more. However, my one apparent fan of the blog (ex-boyfriend mentioned previously) has asked me to update my blog. But, he is going to need to respond to my blog at some point....
Lately, I have noticed smells. I mean, I notice the bad smells all the time. The pollution. Human smell on the streets. etc. But a smell hit me the other day, walking down Baltimore Street, that reminded me of London. All of a sudden, I felt that I was walking down Oxford Street. It was the weirdest sensation. There are days this fall that hit me like England...they remind me of a damp Devon winter day. All that a day like that holds...tea with milk, a chocolate biscuit, a warm cozy wrap and maybe someone else to go along with it. Or, from my earlier days as a young teen, the wind howling through the vale, rattling up on the windows, little drafts pushing me deeper into a wool blanket. Memories. They come fleeting, just wiffs of the past. Sometimes I want to cry because of how time goes by. Friendships won and lost. People that I loved but can never find again. Other times, memories are just a sensation. No regrets (these memories apply more to my early twenties) and how the world is this great big place with amazing opportunities. Sometimes, the memories are anxious, like the feeling that elevator exhaust, that metallic taste creates. It reminds me of Indonesia and Dubrovnik-places designated as resorts, but some sort of work for me.
Memories are weird things. My friend reminded me that we met three years ago. That's a long time. But, I have other friends I met back in 1997, 9 years ago. And we are closer than ever, I think. I hope.
I don't have many regrets....life brings experiences. I may not have acted in the wisest manner always, but I have experienced a lot of grace and love and some hurt and pain as well. But, it all creates a life.
2 comments:
what a beautiful and reflective voice you had towards the end of 06, it is refreshing, full of life, makes me smile and want to cry(in a happy way). Fall brings me back to many beautiful places I have loved too, being in Velburg again, with that clean crisp feeling in the air. Or the tiny plywood cabin at Arcosanti beneath my feather duvette, my "womb" against the harsh cold. And Savannah, my nearest heart sickness, my great love, my city love. Savannah taught me that you truly can fall in love with more than just a man or a friend... I am still so close to the sensations I lived with for two years, meeting and coming to know all the aspects of that city. Savannah is that boyfriend that I will always love but know I can never truly be with again...
let the smells live on, that bring us back to our most precious memories that often linger so near to the surface that we have this vague awareness of but can't fully capture...
Oh, I forgot. What is the signifacance of buying red?
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